It's That Time of the Month Again

Tomorrow, I'm making the four hour trek to put my health and sanity on the line once again. This time I'm reeeaaaally looking forward to it...I've had a hell of a week.

























Fate put a motivator right smack dab in the middle of it. Instead of the annual Corral Club Halloween Party, this year my rodeo committee is throwing a luau. If you reeeaaaally know me, then you will put two and two together before I can explain and figure out this means I'm getting serious about getting fit because on October 1 I will be wearing a coconut bra in public. Oh yes, I'm serious. ...DUH DUH DUHN...

This Week in Non-Sanctioned Derby

I think this is the first time I've seen a bout poster since I started skating with Crude City. Once again, I know it's hard to understand, but I don't live in Corpus; therefore, I'm a little out of touch with what's going on with the league. That being said, I have this Saturday's poster, so I can shamelessly plug for a change...



If you were planning on a road trip this weekend, why not stop by and say hi?

The Cat is Back!

That's right! The big purple cat will be making an appearance on the flat track (if I don't kill myself trying to get ready for the bout next weekend). With some skaters out with injuries and some skaters just returning from injuries, my team needs a little bit of help in dealing with a bad-ass team from Austin.

Soooo...if you sat around for three years talking about how you were going to see me skate one of these days, now is your chance...probably your last chance. I can't guarantee it will be pretty, but who really wants derby to be pretty anyway?

Careful? What's That?

Today I did something that would royally embarrass any normal person. I sent out an email to ALL employees that didn't work the way it was supposed to. Oops. I just laughed. Thank God my boss laughed with me. I swear I tested it, but with me testing, good luck! BTW, I love my job...

Then I came over here to post about what a mess I am, noticed I had about 70 spam messages, and started deleting. So CVD and Chrissy, I didn't intentionally delete your comments. I'm just having a typical Catazon day. Sorry!

Hope this spurt of carelessness doesn't spill over onto the derby track anytime soon. If you want to take bets, HaRD Knocks is skating at 12:45 on Friday, trying to upset a team seeded higher than we are. Skip work and come see what happens.

Hurricane Memories

Today, my family is one of the many in Houston who are hunkering down for Hurricane Ike, ready to make more hurricane memories. I can't help thinking about how mad I was when Alicia hit and I couldn't go see my boyfriend at the skating rink. And how we had a baby possum take shelter in a birdhouse in our backyard when Rita was blowing around.



Later this afternoon, I'll be moving my bed and the computer I'm working on right now. Then I will pull the carpet up and away from the back of the house, because our backyard tends to flood when we get a ton of rain. We are also worried how the construction on our road is going to affect this tendency. At least I don't have to worry about skating in a bout this weekend. Houston Roller Derby will be playing our Championship bouts on September 28th instead September 14th. Hey look, that's me getting an elbow in the ta-tas!



I'll also be dreaming about the beautiful weather where I was a week ago:

Woohoo!

I'm going to Philadelphia to kick some Yankee butt. But first, I'm going down the hall to turn in my resignation. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh HELL YEAH!

Summer Slaughter

So last month, I forgot to hang the bout poster up here in Catazonia, and we had one of the lowest attended bouts ever. Is there some correlation? I seriously doubt it, but just in case...this month, you get three for the price of one.



OK, OK...two posters, but three bouts!!! Is that directly correlating to your excitement level?



By the time HaRD Knocks plays that third advertised bout, next month's bout poster should be hanging here. You might be thinking to yourself that HRD is derbying this summer up but good. That's right...plenty of opportunities to come see me. I really miss you, but I hope to be sick of you by August.

April Annihilation

I almost forgot to post April's bout flyer, but then again, we (HRD) almost forgot to print them. Drama, drama, nobody wants to hear the derby drama. I have a feeling the bruised but brazen Brawlers will make a beautiful showing this bout. Have I ever mentioned how much I adore alliteration?



I started to post about how much more I love NASCAR now that I have actually been to a race, but that will have to wait (until I find my USB cable, not because the flyer is that much more important).

March Masquerade

Another Houston Roller Derby season, another year full of bout posters...



Our opening bout this year should be interesting. I'm waiting to see if my hearing will be restored by then, even though the doctors don't know why I have significant hearing loss. Seems like the infections that were so obvious a couple of weeks ago have now subsided and left this nagging pressure behind. It's really there, people! I'm not making this up. Believe me, I'm not enjoying meeting my $400 insurance deductible in one month. Also, it's hard to skate in a pack when you can't hear properly. Now I realize those eyes in the back of my head were actually my ears. It should be fairly easy to take me out if I can't hear you coming, and I've been confirming that in the last couple of practices. Ouch.

Another interesting side note to this bout is Hannah Montana's performance at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo on the same day. I think the similarities in both our audiences might surprise some people. In other words, her sold out show should affect our attendance. Prove me wrong, and buy a ticket to March Masquerade online!

A New Year of Derby

Christmas isn't even over, and advertising has already begun for the 2008 derby season. HRD's all-star travel team is going to Colorado in early February, and we can't do that without money. One of our favorite ways to raise funds is acting like fools singing karaoke.

Two derbyokes ago, I did the L'il Kim part on Lady Marmalade. That alone should have won the Brawlers first place...we were robbed. Suggestions for how I can top that performance are being taken, or just show up and pay for me to do it kamikaze style...you know, where you pick the song and I have to sing it. I figured it might be helpful to clarify that.

The Good, The Bad, The Derby

I've had ups and downs in derby this week.

I fumed for a couple of days over something that has annoyed me for two years: people that come at a jammer with a good block, but not good enough to take the jammer out, so they use their momentum to fall in front of the jammer and try to break her ankle by wrapping their legs around it. Not a good feeling for the jammer. Referees should call a low block or tripping, but good luck with that.

After recently conversing with a couple of other skaters about whether or not a backwards whip could be used effectively in an actual jam, I pulled one off last night. I threw an off-balance block, went into an eagle, and decided to just turn around and face my jammer who I knew was right behind me. I had two teammates ahead of me in the pack, so I knew I could give my jammer a whip and she would be protected from the one opposing blocker that was ahead of us. I reached out for her, and she grabbed my hand and propelled herself around the rest of the pack. Now that's a good feeling for a blocker. Wasn't 100%, but it got the job done.

Can't wait to show Pikes Peak how Houston rolls on February 9, 2008.

Oktoberdramafest

Buy your tickets! This upcoming bout has already been shrouded in controversy and characterized by numerous ups and downs in team welfare. I can't wait to see the drama the actual day of the bout.



My head got cut off on the back of the flier, so naturally, I was once again inspired:

What Are You Waiting For?

If you have been waiting to attend the perfect bout here in Houston, you have no excuse now. The best skaters of Houston Roller Derby will be taking on the best skaters from four other Texas leagues right here at the Verizon Wireless Theater. This is it, and I'm getting another shot at it, too.



If you already know what it's all about and you can't wait to see us, swing by the West Alabama Ice House this Saturday for a derby-style luau. Remember...HRD is mostly kid-friendly, and Catazon will be there with The Kitten for the early shifts.

August Assault

Just got the message that we need to promote...promote...promote so we can sell...sell...sell some tickets and realized that I had not posted this month's flyer yet.



I am so ready for this bout to be over, because that means I will only have five more days until Margaritaville.

We Got Your Fireworks Right Here!

It's been 11 months since I skated as a Brawler. All of our rookies say they are so excited to finally get to skate with me, but I think they are just tired of me yelling at them on the sidelines. You can never be sure what will happen with Catazon back on the rink, and the Bettie/Boss match-up is going to be explosive. Two more weeks...buy your tickets online.

Miss Me--ow?

I know I've procrastinated posting June's bout poster, but I had doubts that it would really happen. I thought last week that everyone on the HaRD Knocks was going to kill each other, because there are 20 of us on the team and only 14 can skate for a single bout. You can see how ugliness tends to surround the announcement of the bout day roster. I'm pretty sure I'm still on that roster, even though people have complained about my inclusion, and I sat through scrimmaging yesterday. I'm sure they're thinking Catazon doesn't need the practice anyway...she'll pick up right where she left off TEN MONTHS AGO! Bring Dad out, because this should be the most entertaining bout yet this season.



Shout out to Brat Poison, a very talented teammate, who designed this month's poster.

We're Having a Party

The Burlesque Brawlers are trying to raise some money to cover uniform expenses, practice fees, and all those other things that add up to a bunch of broke derby girls. You might be thinking...well, they can make lots of money if they try to live up to their name...sorry, but there ain't gonna be no pole dancing or mud wrestling involved.

Mayhem!

Ah, May...

the sooner you get going, the sooner I can start hitting people again...

there are many who will testify that is when true mayhem will begin.



Watch out...

I plan on skating the Art Car Parade on May 12th...

but I won't be ready for the May bout.

Before I am Consumed by March,

I must post the facts on the first bout of the 2007 season. That way, I will have a post to link to for my 2007 season page that will eventually resemble my 2006 season page.



If you check the HRD website, you will notice that Catazon is not listed on either of the veteran teams. Don't fret. Well, just a tad, because I won't be there at all due to my rodeo commitments. Just wait till April when you get to watch me take on the refs as acting captain of the Brawlers.

Southern Brawl

I haven't been talking about it much, because the jealousy over some of my favorite people getting another chance to skate an interleague bout is consuming me...AND I CAN'T EVEN WALK!!! Still, the excitement is building, though that may be mostly due to my indecision over what to wear.