A Well-Rounded Derby Girl

This morning, the knot that is still on my lower right leg almost two weeks after my first banked-track bout reminded me that I haven't shared my latest adventure in my derby life with my neglected blog. Today, I have absolutely no work to do and, since I'm losing my current job in the near future, no motivation to make up work to do. So here's the story about how a well-rounded woman became a well-rounded derby girl.

A couple of weeks ago, South Side Roller Derby began looking for skaters, flat-track or banked-track, to participate in an impromptu bout in an effort to keep from losing their venue. Even though I'm extremely out of shape and not getting any younger, I still try to maintain my free agent status by making a showing in any pick-up bout within a 300 mile radius, so naturally I jumped at the chance to try the real thing. I mean, what else put the dream in my heart if it wasn't old-school, no-holds-barred, banked-track roller derby? How could I pass this up?

South Side welcomed me and one other flat-tracker with open arms. I had made the hour-long drive from my north-side house to the south-side track several months ago for an open practice, and the two of us were there early before the bout to keep from embarrassing ourselves in public. Still I knew this wasn't going to be pretty; I really had no idea how different it was until the first whistle blew. My husband took a couple of pictures on his phone before the game started and I lost any shred of remaining innocence. (If you have half a brain, you can figure out a Catazon literally stands head and shoulders above the rest of the girls.) I haven't been able to find any others, but that might be a good thing, as you will see...

The first half was pretty much a waste for me. I had one good jam where I was able to impede the jammer for at least half the distance of the track if not more, but other than that, I could not get the hang of the angles and the acceleration factors. They put me the jammer star on me close to the end of the half, and I kept getting swallowed up by the pack every time I thought I was out. Damn those angles.

The second half, I was in every pack with one of my team's best skaters, Mojo, and she took me under her wing. We lined up next to each other in every jam, and she encouraged me to do the things I wasn't used to doing after playing by stringent flat-track rules for five years, such as swimming through the pack. I was starting to get pretty good at that, until I tried to take out a pole after getting a hip check to the inside. That speed you pick up going to the inside of the track is such a rush! The knot on my leg happened in the second half also, because I ended up on the floor or on top of other skaters much more than in the first half when I was skating too tentatively. Hey, I could get used to this!

In the end, the pink team was victorious, with or without my bumbling assistance. South Side is having another pick-up bout this Saturday, but my family is trying to make a July 4th tradition with friends at a Galveston beach house (two years in a row is not a tradition yet, but we'll go for more if possible). I highly recommend trying the banked track if you are a skilled flat-tracker. I know "I'll be back" if they'll have me.

Another Month in the Life...

This big cat is pretty busy right now and having a hard time keeping all my balls of yarn in the air, so I thought it might help to write it all down.

Sometime this week, I will celebrate forty-one fun-filled years upon this whirling dervish we call Earth. I shouldn’t say sometime; I really mean most of the time…family dinner Thursday; Ty Herndon concert Friday; a friend’s 40^th birthday party Saturday. Put that together with Easter weekend, and it’s going to be hard to get out of bed next Monday.  Good thing I dyed those eggs yesterday.

For years derby ruled my life, but a couple of weeks ago, I squeaked a few hours of derby into real life by playing in the Clutch City mashup bout the same weekend my husband had shoulder surgery.  By the time of the bout, I was ready to get out of the house; I had a great time without have to break too much of a sweat; and he pulled out his pain pump all by himself while I was gone. So a win-win-win for everyone, including my team!

When we bought our beautiful new touchscreen all-in-one computer in February, I committed to finally getting rid of all our music CDs so I could have more storage room for our DVDs. (Now I wonder what’s going to replace the DVDs in a few years?) With that project wrapping up, I pulled out a drawer in my bedroom and realized I have about ten of my favorite movies and about twenty more that I bought to make my husband happy still on VHS! It looks like I’m going to move my VCR to the home office and hook it up to the beautiful computer permanently so I can get rid of those useless pieces of plastic before nobody will take them for donations anymore.  I’m pretty much in a downsizing phase all around, including my body, once again.

Today, I’m committing to Operation Look Good in Shorts at Disneyworld.  While it might have to wait till next Monday to get the full treatment with my busy birthday week looming, today I started counting my calories and walked the downtown tunnels for an afternoon break.  We have forty-three days until the big family vacation. I don’t care if I lose any weight by then; I just don’t want my legs to rub together during all that walking.

So that’s what part of April and most of May will look like for the big cat.  Of course, I didn’t even mention that another year of elementary school for The Kitten is coming to an end, and with that, field days, piano recitals, and all the other fun stuff she is overlooking because she can only think about getting to summer.  If I make to summer without hurting myself that is…

Blood & Thunder

Blood&ThunderFeb2011ZK005 a photo by Zeeev on Flickr.

My current league, Crude City Roller Derby, hosted a Blood & Thunder Training Camp the last weekend of February. Tryouts for a Roller Derby World Cup team that will compete in December 2011 were held during the camp. This shot was taken during tryouts.

After the hour and a half tryout, when we were offered the chance to verbally promote ourselves on video, all I could say was, "I wish you would have done this when I was 35."

FMB

We all know what FML stands for on the interwebs, but in this case, switch "blog" for "life".

Today I realized that since Houston Roller Derby went live with their new site, all my links to the old site are toast. Love the new site, ladies, but boohoohoo for me.

Anybody have a stash of all the 2006 to 2008 bout posters? Elle McFierce, I'm talking to you.

Have Job, Will Travel

Today begins a month of extraordinary travel for my job.  Really, once I put it out there, most people, including me, would say, "Oh, that's not so bad."  Then I put it in the context of "I love the organized schedule of my usual life and so does my daughter", and it makes me a little stressed. Thank goodness I will have time to throw in some personal fun (although I should probably take it easier on that since I recently had the good luck to strand myself an hour away from home with a dead battery just because I wanted to be a badass on the banked track too).

Today, I leave for California at 6:45 p.m. CDT.  Tomorrow, I work for at least twelve and a half hours, which includes a presentation on a subject that gives me indigestion and an evening meeting with Asia Pac that makes my eyes feel very droopy.  I return home at 10:00 p.m. CDT on Thursday.  Friday, we camp; Saturday, we jump out of a plane; and Sunday, we return home for Zeigfest!  Woohoo!

Halloween plans are shaping up nicely, including a Ghostland Observatory show that I have been looking forward to since July.  A long-lost friend from Austin will be joining me and my sister, but no word on whether I can get everyone to dress up yet.  The Friday after Halloween, I'm finally going to a University of Houston football game, almost twenty years after I received my bachelor's degree.  Good times!

The next trip to California will be November 7-9.  This one is extra special because the family will also be dealing with the opening weekend of deer season and the only flight I could take back gets me home at 12:30 a.m. CST on November 10.  Why is this the only flight?  I have to give the October 20th presentation on a subject that gives me indigestion to a Houston audience at noon CST on November 10th, after giving a presentation on my wonderful Community of Practice at 2:00 p.m. PST on November 9th.  Loving my job right about now!  May try to throw in a visit to the Renfest the weekend of the 13th, or The Kitten will hate me forever.

Don't worry; I'm not finished yet.  I'm getting the 36 hours of professional development I need to complete my annual goals at a conference in Washington, DC, November 16-18.  At least I get to see The Yankee on that trip and hopefully come home in one piece.  Last time we partied in DC, I danced on a bar.  Shocking, I know.  I think I lost those pictures when my computer died this summer; well, it was either those or the videos from Key West.  It's a good thing the proof of either is hard to find.

And that, my friends, is my upcoming month of extraordinary travel for my job.  When I get home on November 19th or 20th (haven't decided yet), I'll have already started on ten extraordinary days of no work at all.  Could be worse, y'all, could be worse.

Diversionary Tactics

Last night, my family shared a very strange dinner. Since I had a meeting with Asia Pac at 8:30 p.m. and I usually don't get home until after 6:30 p.m., we had to find something quick to eat, especially after The Kitten threw a 15-minute fit because we weren't going to "Old Mcdonald's" or Willie's. We had decided on Mexican, and even though I don't like it, we went to the closest establishment of this type to our house.

First, we had to make somebody come take our order, and then he came back five minutes later and took it again. Not a good sign, but everything came out ok. I was almost done with my enchiladas when I saw something move in the corner of my eye, and before I could get my camera out to take a picture of the roach walking across the wall, the waiter came up and squashed it with a napkin. Okaaaay. You would have thought he could have comped our food for that, but no. While we were waiting an eternity for the check, I started hearing something that sounded like a real kitten. I kept looking around, but nobody else seemed to notice, and although my husband admitted to hearing the sound, he thought I was crazy for caring. Hello, I just shared dinner with a roach, and there is a kitten somewhere in this restaurant! Yeah, I'm crazy.

So, we never figured out where the kitten was, and we paid way too much for nausea from the unwanted dinner guests, but really I just told this story to take some of the spotlight off this interview I gave to a derby fan who posted today. Man, I'm good.

April Madness Continues...

Last weekend, I skated with Crude City. This bout held some significance in the fact that it was only the second time my parents have seen me skate in the five years that I've been derbying. My mom's favorite hobby nowadays is photography, which is a good thing because her pics are the only ones I have of the bout. (That's a little different from when I was skating with HRD, and captures of my crazed expressions were a dime a dozen.)



BTW, we won by like 150 points or something like that. I promised myself not to get caught up in that this time; I'm just doing it because I can, not because I'm trying to prove anything. Although it was nice to have two 18-point jams in one night. ;)

Tonight, I'm starting on my first celebratory weekend. It won't be as good as last year's first weekend, but I get to see one of my favorite bands with my favorite sister (okay, my one and only sister, but she's bad-ass like me). Then, tomorrow night, I get to scout out the team I'll be skating against next month.

Good friends, good music, good hits for bad bitches....awww yeah!

April Fool's Lasts All Month Around Here

Here's a preview of the Catazon's April 2010:

• Good Friday - My 9/80 and The Kitten is looking forward to Iowa Tests being over...girls' day of fun!


• Easter - My 12th wedding anniversary...good way to get out of celebrating it.


• April 5th - A short trip to California...Trader Joe's is calling my name; that and a presentation on Lessons Learned (ick!)


• April 10th - My first bout this season with Crude City Roller Derby...yes, I'm on the roster of a league that is four hours away; come be a fool and watch me!


• April 16th - The day I should be going to the Tiki Bar opening in Maryland again but am instead being a good wife and mother for a change...boo sauce!


• April 21st - The day I was born, 40 years ago...and no, there will not be a party because somebody expects me to send the invitations, clean the house, buy the food and drinks, act as a hostess, etc. (Bite me!)

Now remind me why I'm not going to the Tiki Bar again. Happy April anyway! Usually the best month of the year, but this one has only a couple of bright spots.

BTW...I will be skating in Houston (against Houston Roller Derby) in May. This is not a joke...more info to come. This Cat just won't die, and maybe there's still breath in Catazonia yet.

Oh, and I'm doing NaPoWriMo again!

No, that's the real April Fool's joke.

Please Pardon the Interruption...

As previously explained, I took a brief break from reality this past weekend. I claimed to be "helping out" my Brawlers as they played one of the best roller derby teams in Texas. Once I saw the proof of it, I realized what I really did was stand around and make funny faces as well as be distracted by my reality. Yes, I'm waving to The Kitten, and yes, there seem to be a million pics of me standing around. Sometimes I prayed (see the blurry score behind me..the number not in double digits is ours). Sometimes I did look a bit like my old self (you can see my butt that sent that jammer flying). Mostly I had fun even though I felt (and still feel) pain.

I was reminded of some of the reasons I quit. My husband having to drag my daughter away from me, kicking and screaming because she wanted to stay and have fun. Being put in the penalty box for two things that I know I didn't do and not even getting a minor for blatantly (although not purposely) tripping the jammer. (Don't get me wrong on this...I respect the refs, but I think we've made their job next to impossible.) Knowing that no matter how hard I try, it's not going to be enough for somebody, anybody.

What really brought me back to reality though is seeing for sure that all the weight I lost while on the cardio program is back. I can't wait to get in that leopard-print tankini I ordered! Meow!

Boring...zzzzzzzzz

I don't know why I keep up with this anymore. I no longer participate in the reason I started this blog...derby...although I did stop by the afterparty last week. Nobody wants to hear about work...even though my job is pretty awesome now. The Kitten resists becoming involved in any extracurricular activities...although I constantly ask her if she wants to swim or dance or kick and hit things. Life has become pretty boring since I decided to relax this year.

Rodeo is done, and I'm just waiting for April so anniversary and Easter and birthdays and traveling and holidays and my favorite season can begin. Maybe then Catazonia won't be lackin' in the crackin'.

Even Exchange?

You know what is totally unfair? I have high cholesterol because my GOOD cholesterol is off the charts. My bad cholesterol is within desirable limits, but my GOOD cholesterol is so high that the doctors take a look at the overall number and tell me I need to fix it. Now it doesn't seem right to fix what ain't broke, but whatever...I'll do something. Six months ago, when my doctor told me to exercise more, I just laughed. Okaaay. I figured I might should cut out the avocados instead...that should give the GOOD cholesteral a kick in the ass. Then last month, my job tells me I can get $200 off my insurance costs next year if I start a cardio program, and I sign on the dotted line as fast as I can. Besides the fact that I'm only exercising about NEVER now that I quit derby (between a swollen knee and another broken toe, it has been next to impossible), I wouldn't mind getting down to my "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" weight again. That's only a few pounds lighter, so don't feel so bad that I still look so good when overweight.

But...what the hell have I done? Now I really do have to skip the guacamole, for at least twelve weeks. I have to talk to some person once a week about crap like "wellness vision" and affirmations. I have to write down what I eat (wow, my hand is going to hurt) and how often I exercise (does all the writing count as exercise?). I'm so driven to be the best at everything I do that I know it's going to work, but why does it have to be so annoying to be healthy?

Catazon's Week 1 on the Chevron Cardiovascular Health Program
Weight = 193 (I am not ashamed of this at all.)
Total Cholesterol = 243 (Guess we'll see what happens with this in a few months.)
Anxiety Level = 3 (On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm dealing now, but just wait till Christmas.)

Welcome to Catazonia!

Librarianship, roller derby, art (or Catazon's interpretation thereof), family...these topics and others will be considered in Catazonia. Ignore or enjoy...it's up to you.

Excellent Article on Derby

This came across my Bloglines roller derby search feed this morning...

"How Roller Derby Works"