That is if your version of a merry Christmas starts with an elbow in your crotch.
I tried to find a more flattering picture of myself from the San Antonio Roller Derby mashup bout I skated in last Sunday, but the only thing I found was that I need to lose about 30 pounds before March. Boobies!
So Merry Christmas, indeed!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Summer is Over (in my book)
The Summer of 2011 was hell...absolute, energy-draining, soul-sucking hell. Not only because of the things everyone knows about...record-breaking heat, drought and wildfires in the wonderful state I call home...but also because of a ton of personal burdens. Today, after I completely get the Summer of 2011 off my chest, I'm walking away from it for good.
This summer started out with The Kitten attending a new daycare...for one whole week. She hated it and cried herself to sleep every single night she knew she had to go back there in the morning. Since she was traumatized and refused to try another daycare, we catered to her spoiled rottenness the rest of the summer by driving her to whatever extended family member she wished to grace with her presence or bribing her cousins to come to us. At least one of us had a great summer! I don't know of anything stronger than your worry for your child(ren) that can drag you down to a dark, dark place. Unless you have a demanding job too...
So during all that scrambling for babysitters and driving all over the northwest side of Houston, I was also dealing with work. You might recall a while ago I started talking about this big strategic project to which my very cool boss was reassigned and I would be backfilling for her in the meantime, but then as the project moved through its phases, we discovered the entire company would be reorganized and I started tweeting about how I wasn't going to have the same job (my original Business Analyst job) at the end of the six-month project. No? Well, that's your background, and all you really need to know is all that waiting and worrying over the summer came to a head when the available jobs were posted last week. I've narrowed down my five choices (although I know they will most likely place me in the job that most closely resembles the one I hold now and don't want), and now my fate is in somebody else's hands. Of course, I won't know that fate until the end of October, but like I said, I'm walking away. Letting it go, and hoping my company doesn't let me go.
Now the summer wasn't all bad. We had an awesome trip to Disney World the beginning of June. I skated in not only one but two banked track bouts. I spent a weekend with a friend I had not seen since high school. And today...today, I finally found the motivation I need to move to a better place. I start rehearsing with the rodeo choir on September 26th, and our first performance is October 15th. I bet you didn't know that Catazon was a good enough singer to try out for a choir that performs in front of, oh, a few thousand people for three weeks out of the year and actually MAKE IT! Well, you oughta know.
Summer of 2011...you can kiss my karaoke-ing ass.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
A Well-Rounded Derby Girl
This morning, the knot that is still on my lower right leg almost two weeks after my first banked-track bout reminded me that I haven't shared my latest adventure in my derby life with my neglected blog. Today, I have absolutely no work to do and, since I'm losing my current job in the near future, no motivation to make up work to do. So here's the story about how a well-rounded woman became a well-rounded derby girl.
A couple of weeks ago, South Side Roller Derby began looking for skaters, flat-track or banked-track, to participate in an impromptu bout in an effort to keep from losing their venue. Even though I'm extremely out of shape and not getting any younger, I still try to maintain my free agent status by making a showing in any pick-up bout within a 300 mile radius, so naturally I jumped at the chance to try the real thing. I mean, what else put the dream in my heart if it wasn't old-school, no-holds-barred, banked-track roller derby? How could I pass this up?
The first half was pretty much a waste for me. I had one good jam where I was able to impede the jammer for at least half the distance of the track if not more, but other than that, I could not get the hang of the angles and the acceleration factors. They put me the jammer star on me close to the end of the half, and I kept getting swallowed up by the pack every time I thought I was out. Damn those angles.
The second half, I was in every pack with one of my team's best skaters, Mojo, and she took me under her wing. We lined up next to each other in every jam, and she encouraged me to do the things I wasn't used to doing after playing by stringent flat-track rules for five years, such as swimming through the pack. I was starting to get pretty good at that, until I tried to take out a pole after getting a hip check to the inside. That speed you pick up going to the inside of the track is such a rush! The knot on my leg happened in the second half also, because I ended up on the floor or on top of other skaters much more than in the first half when I was skating too tentatively. Hey, I could get used to this!
In the end, the pink team was victorious, with or without my bumbling assistance. South Side is having another pick-up bout this Saturday, but my family is trying to make a July 4th tradition with friends at a Galveston beach house (two years in a row is not a tradition yet, but we'll go for more if possible). I highly recommend trying the banked track if you are a skilled flat-tracker. I know "I'll be back" if they'll have me.
A couple of weeks ago, South Side Roller Derby began looking for skaters, flat-track or banked-track, to participate in an impromptu bout in an effort to keep from losing their venue. Even though I'm extremely out of shape and not getting any younger, I still try to maintain my free agent status by making a showing in any pick-up bout within a 300 mile radius, so naturally I jumped at the chance to try the real thing. I mean, what else put the dream in my heart if it wasn't old-school, no-holds-barred, banked-track roller derby? How could I pass this up?
South Side welcomed me and one other flat-tracker with open arms. I had made the hour-long drive from my north-side house to the south-side track several months ago for an open practice, and the two of us were there early before the bout to keep from embarrassing ourselves in public. Still I knew this wasn't going to be pretty; I really had no idea how different it was until the first whistle blew. My husband took a couple of pictures on his phone before the game started and I lost any shred of remaining innocence. (If you have half a brain, you can figure out a Catazon literally stands head and shoulders above the rest of the girls.) I haven't been able to find any others, but that might be a good thing, as you will see...
The first half was pretty much a waste for me. I had one good jam where I was able to impede the jammer for at least half the distance of the track if not more, but other than that, I could not get the hang of the angles and the acceleration factors. They put me the jammer star on me close to the end of the half, and I kept getting swallowed up by the pack every time I thought I was out. Damn those angles.The second half, I was in every pack with one of my team's best skaters, Mojo, and she took me under her wing. We lined up next to each other in every jam, and she encouraged me to do the things I wasn't used to doing after playing by stringent flat-track rules for five years, such as swimming through the pack. I was starting to get pretty good at that, until I tried to take out a pole after getting a hip check to the inside. That speed you pick up going to the inside of the track is such a rush! The knot on my leg happened in the second half also, because I ended up on the floor or on top of other skaters much more than in the first half when I was skating too tentatively. Hey, I could get used to this!
In the end, the pink team was victorious, with or without my bumbling assistance. South Side is having another pick-up bout this Saturday, but my family is trying to make a July 4th tradition with friends at a Galveston beach house (two years in a row is not a tradition yet, but we'll go for more if possible). I highly recommend trying the banked track if you are a skilled flat-tracker. I know "I'll be back" if they'll have me.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sometimes Catazon Pretends She's a Cougar
This year's birthday wasn't as exciting as last year's, but I'm not complaining. I still got a bunch of good stuff...my family pretty much cleared out my wish list; I'll have to replenish it before Christmas, or I'll get the usual gift certificates for Victoria's Secret and black raspberry vanilla toiletries from Bath & Body Works and nothing else...and I still got my favorite home-cooked meal and strawberry cake. Nope, I wouldn't call that exciting.
What was fun was I got to go out and act like a woman of my advanced age does. I even brought my husband along. One of my favorite country & western singers who I have seen a couple times at small venues when I was living in Austin was playing at the Firehouse Saloon on Friday night. So I got gussied up in my tightest jeans, halter top, and bling-bling belt and mosied on down early to get a front row seat for Ty Herndon. Didn't really need to do that since there were only about 50 people at the show, but what the hey, the vodka sodas went down easy. Ty forgot to sing his world famous rendition of You Can Leave Your Hat On, and I went over after the show to tell him how disappointed I was.
But really, I always look like I'm ready to pounce when I take pictures with hot celebrities. Remember, my husband was watching the whole thing. Escandalo!
I didn't even notice until yesterday I paid for the whole night...tickets, drinks, everything! Happy birthday to me!
What was fun was I got to go out and act like a woman of my advanced age does. I even brought my husband along. One of my favorite country & western singers who I have seen a couple times at small venues when I was living in Austin was playing at the Firehouse Saloon on Friday night. So I got gussied up in my tightest jeans, halter top, and bling-bling belt and mosied on down early to get a front row seat for Ty Herndon. Didn't really need to do that since there were only about 50 people at the show, but what the hey, the vodka sodas went down easy. Ty forgot to sing his world famous rendition of You Can Leave Your Hat On, and I went over after the show to tell him how disappointed I was.
Ty: Get over here, you big sexy girl!
Me: Ooooh ok, I just wanted to tell you how disappointed I was that you didn't do You Can Leave Your Hat On.
Ty: YOU CAN LEEEAAAVVVE YOUR HAT ON!
Me: Meoooowwww.
But really, I always look like I'm ready to pounce when I take pictures with hot celebrities. Remember, my husband was watching the whole thing. Escandalo!
I didn't even notice until yesterday I paid for the whole night...tickets, drinks, everything! Happy birthday to me!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Another Month in the Life...
This big cat is pretty busy right now and having a hard time keeping all my balls of yarn in the air, so I thought it might help to write it all down.
Sometime this week, I will celebrate forty-one fun-filled years upon this whirling dervish we call Earth. I shouldn’t say sometime; I really mean most of the time…family dinner Thursday; Ty Herndon concert Friday; a friend’s 40th birthday party Saturday. Put that together with Easter weekend, and it’s going to be hard to get out of bed next Monday. Good thing I dyed those eggs yesterday.
For years derby ruled my life, but a couple of weeks ago, I squeaked a few hours of derby into real life by playing in the Clutch City mashup bout the same weekend my husband had shoulder surgery. By the time of the bout, I was ready to get out of the house; I had a great time without have to break too much of a sweat; and he pulled out his pain pump all by himself while I was gone. So a win-win-win for everyone, including my team!
When we bought our beautiful new touchscreen all-in-one computer in February, I committed to finally getting rid of all our music CDs so I could have more storage room for our DVDs. (Now I wonder what’s going to replace the DVDs in a few years?) With that project wrapping up, I pulled out a drawer in my bedroom and realized I have about ten of my favorite movies and about twenty more that I bought to make my husband happy still on VHS! It looks like I’m going to move my VCR to the home office and hook it up to the beautiful computer permanently so I can get rid of those useless pieces of plastic before nobody will take them for donations anymore. I’m pretty much in a downsizing phase all around, including my body, once again.
Today, I’m committing to Operation Look Good in Shorts at Disneyworld. While it might have to wait till next Monday to get the full treatment with my busy birthday week looming, today I started counting my calories and walked the downtown tunnels for an afternoon break. We have forty-three days until the big family vacation. I don’t care if I lose any weight by then; I just don’t want my legs to rub together during all that walking.
So that’s what part of April and most of May will look like for the big cat. Of course, I didn’t even mention that another year of elementary school for The Kitten is coming to an end, and with that, field days, piano recitals, and all the other fun stuff she is overlooking because she can only think about getting to summer. If I make to summer without hurting myself that is…
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Rodeo Wrap-up
One of my favorite things about volunteering for the rodeo is when it's finally over. And I don't mean that in a negative way; I get to read all about another wonderful year at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo in the wrap-up press release. Granted the numbers are rumored to be padded, but I'm pretty good at exaggerating myself. Here's my own version:
Marie (aka Catazon) Finishes Up Her Third and Final Year as Club East Captain - March 21, 2011 - For Immediate Release - On the morning of March 21, 2011, Marie made her final trip to Reliant Stadium as a Captain on the Corral Club - Club East A Team to help her committee push all the beer boxes, margarita machines, and portable bars downstairs to Equipment and finish cleaning out the leftover alcohol and other sundries. She took home a buttload of limes to make fresh margaritas later in the evening, because we all know you have to wean yourself slowly from twenty straight days of rodeo excess.
Following are the highlights of Marie's own personal 2011 March Madness:
ATTENDANCE
Marie (aka Catazon) Finishes Up Her Third and Final Year as Club East Captain - March 21, 2011 - For Immediate Release - On the morning of March 21, 2011, Marie made her final trip to Reliant Stadium as a Captain on the Corral Club - Club East A Team to help her committee push all the beer boxes, margarita machines, and portable bars downstairs to Equipment and finish cleaning out the leftover alcohol and other sundries. She took home a buttload of limes to make fresh margaritas later in the evening, because we all know you have to wean yourself slowly from twenty straight days of rodeo excess.
Following are the highlights of Marie's own personal 2011 March Madness:
ATTENDANCE
- Officially worked six nights: Sugarland, Selena Gomez, Martina McBride, Gary Allan, KISS, and Alan Jackson.
- Helped out the other teams for two nights: Clay Walker and Jason Aldean.
- "Played" on seven additional nights: Janet Jackson, Billy Currington, Lady Antebellum, Kid Rock, Miranda Lambert, Zac Brown Band, and Brad Paisley.
- Yes, that's a total of 15 out of 20 nights that Marie was on the grounds of RodeoHouston.
- Drink tickets purchased: $240 worth (not counting the tickets sweet-talked off the husband)
- Wine tickets purchased: ~$30 worth (those were hair of the dog days; more money will be spent on wine next year)
- Carnival tickets purchased: $100 worth (half-price, of course)
- Carnival tickets donated: $50 worth
- Alamo tamales eaten: $12 worth (3 half-dozens, usually on the hair of the dog days)
- Gifts bought for the Assistant Club Chairman's last year: $315 worth (money collected from the Club)
- Steps walked: ~503,000 over the past six weeks; the majority of those on the 15 days at rodeo.
- Number of times riding the rollercoaster of death: 2
- Number of times riding the rollercoaster of death in the front seat: 1 (just happened to be the day before and you know it was with The Kitten)
- Number of days Pole 21, the same place I've been parking since I started volunteering seven years ago, was unreachable: 12 (don't even get me started; it's pretty much documented via Facebook and Twitter)
- Number of gifts my team bought me for my last year as Captain: 4
- HLSR pink and black windbreaker
- HLSR pink and black rhinestone belt buckle
- HLSR sterling silver bracelet
- And my favorite, HLSR Corral Club key fob
Another great year of giving back to my community and also getting something in return; not only material things but pride, respect, love...too many positive emotions and feelings to list. As I mentioned, there's an Assistant Club Chairman position open on my Club, and I'm up for it. 2012 may be even better than 2011, if we aren't killed walking to our car a mile away or being flung out of a carnival ride!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Blood & Thunder
My current league, Crude City Roller Derby, hosted a Blood & Thunder Training Camp the last weekend of February. Tryouts for a Roller Derby World Cup team that will compete in December 2011 were held during the camp. This shot was taken during tryouts.
After the hour and a half tryout, when we were offered the chance to verbally promote ourselves on video, all I could say was, "I wish you would have done this when I was 35."
After the hour and a half tryout, when we were offered the chance to verbally promote ourselves on video, all I could say was, "I wish you would have done this when I was 35."
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