It's That Time of the Month Again

Tomorrow, I'm making the four hour trek to put my health and sanity on the line once again. This time I'm reeeaaaally looking forward to it...I've had a hell of a week.

























Fate put a motivator right smack dab in the middle of it. Instead of the annual Corral Club Halloween Party, this year my rodeo committee is throwing a luau. If you reeeaaaally know me, then you will put two and two together before I can explain and figure out this means I'm getting serious about getting fit because on October 1 I will be wearing a coconut bra in public. Oh yes, I'm serious. ...DUH DUH DUHN...

You Just Know Something's Going to Go Horribly Wrong

To celebrate the big 4-0, my best friend and I decided way back in January that we should have a joint birthday party this year. Our birthdays are exactly four months apart, so we chose late June, right in between each of our big days, for the best time to have the shindig. Since it's summertime and parties, weddings, and the like abound, we sent the invites in early June to get the best response. Then I waited patiently for something to go wrong.

Two weeks ago, we hired a friend to paint our living room, dining room, and atrium. It was taking longer than he expected, and he planned on finishing up the Tuesday before the party. Sure, no problem, plenty of time to get things back into place.

Tuesday, I was picked to serve on a jury, expected to last through Friday. Well, that's just great. I was counting on using Friday, my beautiful 9/80 Friday, to get my house in order and spend some time with my best friend before the party. Still, no problem, we can do this.

Friday, our deep-freeze packed full of processed deer meat and one lovely deer head stopped working. I didn't notice it when I left the house at 7:30 a.m., but I sure as hell noticed it when I pulled in at 5:30 p.m. Gah, the stench! But what could I do? I still needed to pick up The Kitten at Gramma's, and The Tomcat was still in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. (Actually what I think happened is my wonderful husband left the door open when he took ice out for his deep sea fishing trip at 4:00 a.m., but he will never admit that to me.) When he finally got home, the Clorox and Lysol treatment on the freezer and the floor started and lasted all day Saturday. We encouraged people to avoid the garage during the party, and we are still afraid to open the freezer door.

Even with all this conspiring against us, we managed to have a fun-filled party on Saturday night. Only one thing is missing, and one thing in the house is broken...miniscule in the grand scheme of things. And I was able to blame my hangover on a severe sinus attack. That's not wrong at all; that's just right.

What Has The World Come to When I Get Excited about Happy Hour?

This day feels like it lasted for eighteen hours instead of nine, merely because I'm regressing to my late twenties and going to happy hour tonight. Seriously, what has my old age come to if I'm letting a Thursday evening meet-up to consume free appetizers and over-priced drinks with other retired derby friends be the highlight of my week? Seriously, I cannot wait!

In other exciting news, I set the theme for the party I'm hosting in late June and got some evites out last night. This late June date is almost halfway in between my best friend since 7th grade's and my birthdays. We were born exactly four months apart in 1970, a Taurus and a Leo. People actually believe we're having a S&M party, because the theme is "40 is Fabulous with S&M". Her name is Staci; mine is Marie. Things happen when the two of us get together that are beyond your worst S&M nightmare. Be afraid; be very afraid.

Catazon's Law of Parties

Stress will be a fact of life the week before the party, until you can drink it away the night of the party.

On Monday, the guest of honor will still be hemming and hawing over the menu. That's ok, because you're still not sure if you have to feed forty or fifty or even more.

On Tuesday, you will start the day by throwing out your neck...the same neck problem you have had since a crazy night in New Orleans in 2005. You still don't know what it is, and at the moment, you definitely don't have time to find out, although it would be nice to refresh your stash of painkillers.

On Wednesday, you will discover a water leak in your dining room ceiling. Thank God the pipe was right next to a light fixture, so the water dripped immediately instead of pooling for days. Later that day, you will have your annual performance review. Good luck!

On Thursday, you will have to go to dinner with your boss. Actually not a stressful situation, but you should be home doing a test run on the last minute request for butterscotch cake. Even though it might look like a pile of poo on Saturday, you're still pretty sure it will taste totally awesome (it's an 80's party).

You're not going to think about Friday yet. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Day of the Dead Can't Come Soon Enough

October has been a CRAZY BUSY month for me.

I began the month by skating in my last derby bout. In the first of three bouts in two days, I was tripped and took it directly on my right knee (the one that already had problems). At least I pushed their jammer all the way to the middle of the infield with three of their blockers on me right before this happened. You can watch the whole bout if you want. Such a shame opponents must resort to cheating to stop me. Still, I can't believe I could get a pad over my knee to skate the other two bouts. Isn't it symbolic, don't you think?



A week or so later, I saw a legend from the front row, thanks to a derby girl who I'm proud to call a friend also. You couldn't ask for a better front (or back, or only two) of your pack. We've been through it all!



Then, I went to the Corral Club Halloween Party, two days before the derby awards party, and wore the same thing to each. Hmm, maybe that's why I went to both alone...it couldn't be because I'm a nasty dancer...no way. (Image is blurred to protect the innocent, or because I had to steal it from Facebook on my BlackBerry...whatever you prefer.)



Last weekend, I acted like a giddy schoolgirl on the front row of another concert, this time with my sister who took some great pictures. I think I'm going to have to fight her for his sweat towel that I practically jumped up on the stage to steal. You can't ignore me, Rick!



And all these things don't even begin to list all the fun I had in October! Tonight, The Kitten will get to show off her costume to the grandparents she invited over for Halloween almost two months ago. Tomorrow, I can start a much more relaxed month. Unless somebody wants to go to the Ren Faire with me?

I Don't Deserve It

Houston Roller Derby honored its best and brightest of the 2007 season this past Sunday. All of the winners except one were completely deserving of their awards. One of the winners sat out almost half the season. One of the winners did not even do her best work once she came back. It took a couple of months for her to honestly feel like she was positively contributing. By that time, her team was praying for just one win and a third place finish. Yes, that "winner" is Catazon, the Burlesque Brawler's Best Blocker of 2007.

That made my whole freakin' year right there! First, I must give special thanks to my teammates for all their support this year, and to the rest of the league for believing in me. Also, thanks to a friend who gave me some extra encouragement and now makes me cry by bringing it up at emotional moments. Second, I apologize to anyone I offended after I started celebrating. I don't remember everything I did, but I know I'm very sorry for dancing inappropriately, singing off-key, indecently exposing myself, making unfounded accusations, and generally being the obnoxious drunk that I so perfectly can be. Damn, that was fun! Now on to the next excuse...

(The following picture was in the comments before I moved my blog, hence the last comment, but you can't do that on Blogger. Try not to judge me too harshly.)

I Thought It Would Never End

The 2007 HRD season is finally over. The Psych Ward Sirens (4-1) repeated as champions even though the Bayou City Bosses (4-1) were undefeated going into the final bout, and surprise, surprise...the Burlesque Brawlers (1-4) stole third place from the Machete Betties (1-4).

I tried to keep the Brawlers from winning with some crazy antics in the first half of the bout, including first getting called for a major on a 20-foot violation when I was simply standing next to a Bettie and then assuming I was lead jammer when I came out of the pack ahead of the Betties' jammer instead of confirming it by looking at my assigned ref. It's not good when your jammer goes to the box, but it can be funny if your jammer just put the opposing jammer in the front row. After all that, the Brawlers were down by only nine at halftime, and I realized I better get my act together in the second half. Thank God the rest of the Brawlers were there to play instead of put on a show. So I toned down the hissing and scratching and scored ten points in one jam (lapped their jammer twice), then nine points in my next jam (only got her once that time). The rest of my girls kept their heads in the game, too. With thirty seconds to go, we were ahead by three, just starting the last jam, and knew that not even the best jammer in the league could score in that time frame. It was so beautiful, I cried. And cried. And cried. Then I cried some more, because I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. and it was 2:30 a.m.

I'm starting to get over this crazy derby season and look ahead (keep watching for major announcements), though things like this make it fun to look back:

Que 'The Lone Ranger' Theme music

Fiery quads with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a
hearty, "Hi Ho Catazon!" The big cat is back! "Hi Ho Catazon,
away!" With her faithful team, the Burlesque Brawlers, the daring
and resourceful catlike skater of the flat track led the fight
against a winless season in HRD. Last night she returned to us those
thrilling days of yesteryear. Catazon skates again!

It was great seeing Catazon skate again with her fire and passion! I
credit Catazon with introducing me to HRD. ~ Dirty Sanchez

Thank you to everyone that encouraged me and the Brawlers to keep going. Thank you, Brawlers, for a season that ended much better than it began. Although it was looking scary there for a couple of weeks, we pulled it together in crunch time. Proud to be purple, always and forever.

What Are You Waiting For?

If you have been waiting to attend the perfect bout here in Houston, you have no excuse now. The best skaters of Houston Roller Derby will be taking on the best skaters from four other Texas leagues right here at the Verizon Wireless Theater. This is it, and I'm getting another shot at it, too.



If you already know what it's all about and you can't wait to see us, swing by the West Alabama Ice House this Saturday for a derby-style luau. Remember...HRD is mostly kid-friendly, and Catazon will be there with The Kitten for the early shifts.

I Survived Another Year with The Kitten

We had another backyard-destroying blowout to mark four years of fun with The Kitten. She requested water balloons to celebrate the occasion. I think she and her cousins and a few close friends went through 400 of them.

The Kitten also wowed all party-goers with a preview of her gold-medal performance in the Steeplechase for the 2024 Summer Olympics.

Working for the Weekend

I'm going to do some other exciting stuff this weekend besides skating in my first bout in ten months on Sunday. For instance, lunch on Saturday will be with about twenty some-odd other people that I have only met online. No need to be alarmed, though, since they are Mama Drama readers and writers. Completely harmless, yet most likely bad influences for tempting me with margaritas the day before a bout. Sounds like I'll fit right in.

We're Having a Party

The Burlesque Brawlers are trying to raise some money to cover uniform expenses, practice fees, and all those other things that add up to a bunch of broke derby girls. You might be thinking...well, they can make lots of money if they try to live up to their name...sorry, but there ain't gonna be no pole dancing or mud wrestling involved.

Merry Christmas!

Plans are already being made for celebrating the season...Goldie BloXX and I are throwing a party! Karaoke will be the featured activity (what a surprise!), and we will ask for minimal donations for your share of the alcohol. More details to come later; just keep us in mind. Goldie and I have both been through some hard times this year, and we would really love to share some good times with our friends.

MMMMMMwah!

The Weekend

How did the Sexy Paramedic turn out? Other than a noticable limp, I think it was comparable to the model.

Oh, Julia...strategically-placed socks helped the look. LOL

Ziegfest was a mud fest, but we had fun until it got dark and you couldn't see where to step in the mud. Very unsafe for the very unsteady.

Ready to do it all again!

The Cast is OFF!

I'm learning how to walk again. It's very frustrating when your brain knows what to do, but you put your foot down and it doesn't do what you're telling it to do. The doctor trusted me to do this without therapy and without a walking boot. I didn't want to be stuck in something like that for four more weeks, so that was great news, even though the next few days are going to be tough without it. I would like to get rid of the crutches by Monday, but realistically, I'll be happy with next Friday, just in time for the girls' weekend of debauchery. This ankle


is going to look so good with this costume.

This is fair warning...

The Yankee just bought her plane ticket to come party with me once I can walk again. Those of you that can keep up (which shouldn't be that hard to do with someone who just got out of a cast), you're welcome to come, too! The itinerary is on my calendar for the weekend of October 20th. Oh, and when I say party, I mean there are no significant others involved in this whatsoever. Honkytonk!

Naughty Librarian

No, I'm not talking about me, but the costume I'm considering for Halloween.



Thanks to Poison Ivory (a teammate) for the suggestion! And, why am I already considering Halloween costumes? Well, I thought you'd never ask.

I just found out that Corral Club is having a Halloween party instead of a Christmas party. Isn't that the best idea to come out of the rodeo ever? There is no way in hell I'm missing this one!

My Favorite Boss!

In honor of our upcoming bout, I would like to demonstrate one of the strategies I use against my worthy opponents...



Taking them out before they even get on the floor.

Love ya, Jule B. Sorry, and can't wait to party, bout, and (please forgive me) beat you AGAIN! Hope you will be ready to go on the 16th...I'll try to keep my skate off your skate until then.

What a Wonderful Weekend!

The Brawlers kicked off the holiday weekend with a pool party at Tawdry's house.  The Kitten (Catazon's spawn) enjoyed it for the first few hours, then I dropped her off with daddy for some bonding with my team.  That move ended up spoiling the rest of the weekend for bonding with my husband (same song, 1 millionth verse), but I didn't let it affect the rest of my extracurricular activities.

It looked like Sunday was going to be tough with the hangover and the nagging, but I was able to put that noise behind me once we got to the farm and Jule B. Sorry and her crew showed up.  Remember...I mentioned earlier that I would be attending my first roller derby bout over the Fourth of July weekend.  I think I enjoyed the halftime band more than the bout (I added a song to my myspace page).  I don't even want to talk about the afterparty, because that kind of fun is indescribable.  Jule and I (along with a few more HRD representers) shut the place down.

The rest of the holiday was pretty much uneventful but most definitely relaxing and a welcome change from the hellhole (a.k.a. library) in which I slave away the days.  I highly recommend a Central Texas getaway every now and then, even if I couldn't stand to live there again.

Library Instruction Revisited

I just found out that all the words of wisdom I posted a couple of days ago about library instruction, Generation Y, and how the two converge in my library disappeared. It's extremely rare for me to express any kind of serious opinion about anything, and when I finally take the time to sit down and write about one moment of lucidity, the server decides to eat it. Unfortunately, I've slept since then and haven't been eating very well due to my attempt to slim up a tad before appearing at derby prom, so I won't be recreating the previous post.