The people that have been telling me for the past five years how perfect I would be for a certain reality show were wrong. Turns out that a six foot tall librarian with a penchant for participating in full-contact sports is not dysfunctional enough to race around the world. But thanks for making me feel special for a while! Oh, and if you feel like boycotting CBS because they choose to exploit traumatic family situations, go right ahead.
Cat... I really don't know what to say. I'm sooooo sorry they're not interested in us as a team, as I thought we'd make a dynamic duo and would have a very real shot at winning.
ReplyDeleteIMHO, it's a bit premature for anyone to feel "exploited" just yet, and I personally would refrain from using words like "traumatic" for situations I am not personally involved in.
Please keep in mind that for every dark cloud there's a silver lining, and even if it isn't immediately apparent (sometimes we just choose not to see it right away), we should always have faith that it is there and be looking for it... Sucky situations turn out to be blessings in disguise all the time.
I know you are terribly disappointed on how things turned out... but I want you to know that no matter what happens, you will always be my friend.
:(
ReplyDeleteI'll gladly boycot CBS...in fact, Im adding it to my list of things/places to boycot...it will be right up there with stupid ass Eagle Graphics.
Dammit.
ReplyDeleteDysfunctional: D-y-s-f-u-n-C-t-i-o-n-a-l...dysfunctional.
What a bunch of modern day horse shit. What, if you and Private B had been sleeping together and considering adopting a kid from a 3rd world country then they would have put you on?
ReplyDeleteMAD WORLD-Tears for Fears
Well, between you and I and the readers of this blog, you are plenty dysfuntional for me!
I love you.
Abso-frickin-lutely!
ReplyDeleteCan you say "Finder's Fee"? ;)
ReplyDeletepeh. Nerds don't know what they're missing. I would actually watch TV if I knew there was the possiblilty of watching someone receive an unexpected slam from a roller girl!
ReplyDeleteRight?!?!? I guess they don't realize what a NATIONAL community roller derby is and how much we got each other's back on and off the rink. Thousands of skaters tuning in to cheer the derby twosome on...seems like it would be good for ratings to me. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteNowww you're speakin my incoherent language! And you're right, it issss my fault. Lets try out next year and we can really milk my car accident and your broken ankle and the whole from geek to still a geek but people don't know it, side of things. Maybe they'd believe that I'm going on the show because I have a fear of tall librarians on skates that I simply must overcome. And you have a fear of short fuckers who can't do math higher than a 1st grade level. That sort of sob story would certainly bring abc to tears.
ReplyDeleteHell, while were at it, I need an extreme home makeover. Good thing all 5 of my children died in that horrible ballooning accident at the circus last year. I need that for my angle.
Or perhaps if you wouldn't have been so *responsible* and said no to me...maybe they would have bought the whole "I used to think she was just another one of the beautiful people, but now I know she has issues too, yet I can still pretend she thinks she's better than me for the cameras" angle. Gosh, I didn't know that I could make even less sense than you. See, we would have been PERFECT!
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you would have mentioned that you had that near death experience with getting scoliosis from a feather and that you've overcome a fatal case of down syndrome and chickenpox and that your house burned down, but you built it back with the one hand you didn't lose in that woodchopping accident.
ReplyDeleteBut noooo, you wanted them to like you for stupid fake reasons like being a librarian and roller derby. Who would buy that bogus crap? Everyone knows there's no such thing as librarians.
Just proves you're not dysfunctional enough -- work on it. Go WILD & CRAZY -- marry a 100 year old man zillionaire - take his money and buy CBS
ReplyDelete